The (Goose) Minefield!

My place of employment has a problem - a goose problem! If you were to drive into the parking lot today there is honestly no possible way to avoid the myriad of goose poo scattered everywhere! I know, I know..."Jason, haven't the geese already started flying south for the winter?" That is what I thought too...maybe they are all stopping here along their way to do their dirty work!

Through extensive Google research (i.e. a 2 min search and click) I have discovered that there are several ways to get rid of geese. So here are a few strategies I apparently need to implement here at work:

1 - Don't feed them: I currently don't see anyone out there feeding the geese during lunch. Therefore, the only logical solution is to rip up all the grass and replace it with lawn flamingos.

2 - Deploy decoys: See point #1 - since most large birds defend their young they can be viscous to other waterfowl. Instead of implementing the recommended trumpeter swan decoy, I would rather see pink lawn flamingos used - colorful and tacky!

3 - Scare strategies: Some suggestions for scare strategies include scary eyes, reflective shiny tape, floating objects and loud noises. Great suggestions, huh?! Here is what I would do - print off the picture to the right and tape in on large posts with reflective shiny tape! Fool proof solution!

4 - Goose dog: Most people seem to suggest Border Collies for this task. I love dogs so this seems like a great fit. Anyone know a Border Collie breeder that has between 25 - 30 grown dogs available for lease?

5 - Stake and string: By far my favorite solution to the goose problem comes from working_man66 on Yahoo Answers. This genius of a man suggests the following - "Put a stake in the ground at each end of your property then tie fishing line from one to the other. The geese won't step over the line that hangs 3-4 inches off the ground!" I could see a couple of issue with this - coworkers may trip over the line and last I checked geese can fly!

In all seriousness though these geese are REALLY annoying! I honestly have to look where I am walking each morning when I come into the office! Anyone else have geese issues at work?

The Power of the Underdog

A big congratulations is well deserved to "Joose" the sand volleyball team I was a part of this summer; we won the championship last night! This was our second championship win as a team this year, but this summers sand league was definitely much more of a challenge than this spring - we were 100% the underdogs! Which brings me to the topic of today: The Power of the Underdog. 

Last night going into the playoffs our team was the #5 seed out of 15 total teams. Our first match was against the #4 seed - this match determined if we would make the playoffs or not (we were tied with them). We beat them pretty easily and therefore qualified for the tournament. Our first tourney match was against the #1 team who we never played in the regular season - they only lost two games all season! We were definitely nervous, anxious, but mostly pumped up! We beat them by hefty margins and advanced to the championship match against a team we barely beat in regular season play. We ended up winning the match and the overall tournament, but there was something different about our team. 

Last night there was definitely a different attitude amongst our team and I think our victories can be attributed to being the underdogs coming into the tourney. One cannot deny the power of the underdogs - just look at this past year! The New Orlean Saints won the super bowl over the invincible Indianapolis Colts and UNI had an amazing run in 2010's NCAA basketball tournament. 

Prior to the big match up everyone secretly tells themselves "we're probably going to lose today," but they don't make this known. To everyone it looks as though they were the favorites coming into the match. This demonstration of confidence, the outward showing of strength and determination is what propels these underdogs to perform so well! Last night our team was confident, we drew upon all our strength and we were definitely determined not to lose - we wanted to prove that we were the best in our league!

Aside from a great series of victories last night the lesson I carried with me is to not underestimate the power of the underdog! If you do, you will more than likely lose!

Go Joose!

Waiting in Anticipation - Halloween

Lately, it seems as though I have been waiting in anticipation for one thing after another! Last weekend I couldn't wait for the new fall TV series' to start ("The Amazing Race" was great last night, btw). This week I couldn't wait for my new cell phone to arrive (also great). Now, I cannot wait for Halloween to arrive! No, I am not looking forward to even cooler weather than we are currently experiencing, but I cannot wait for all the fun Halloween activities to start!

Trick or Treating

Before you go there, no, I do not trick or treat anymore - I gave that up last year tyvm :P These last few years have been great in the trick or treat department. Since The Mrs. and I are a little too old now we have settled on handing out candy at her grandma's. It is actually a lot of fun - we get to see all the little kiddies in their outfits AND we get to dress up the dog (Shih Tzu) in her Halloween outfit! Last year she was a bee I think!

Halloween Parties
Going out on Halloween is so much fun; especially if you are downtown! Not only are the people really excited to be out, but the majority of them are even dressed up in costumes! I believe last year (or the year before) the big costumes were Joker from the new Batman Movie and Flo from the Progressive Insurance commercials. Amanda and I dressed up as a cowgirl and soccer player - we had a lot of fun! Oh and having a close friend with a birthday on Halloween makes things even easier!

Scary Attractions 

I haven't been to a haunted house or haunted forest in a couple of years - I am really hoping this year we can make something happen! The Mrs. and I are throwing around a few ideas of where we would like to go with a small group of people - below are my top 3 choices for this year. I am voting for Dreadwood Haunt; it sounds scary!
1) Dreadwood Haunt - Hudson, WI --- Haunted Forest
2) Trail of Terror - Shakpoee, MN --- Haunted Forest
3) Scream Town - Chaska, MN --- Haunted Village

There are only 34 more days left until Halloween - I know I can wait until then! Boo!

Friday 5 - 9.24

In an effort to spice things up a bit I will be starting a segment for the blog! If you aren’t already excited, you should be! I’ll wait while you regain your composure. OK…good. This new segment will be called “Friday 5.” As the title suggests each Friday post will contain a list of five things. The list can and will include anything – five questions, top fives, five ideas…I think you get the idea! Enjoy!

5 things I miss about summer:

1 – Sun tan. No, I am not talking about laying out just for the sake of tanning! I am talking about getting tan over the course of the summer! I just feel that we northern MN white folk look better with a healthy glow! The saddest part of it all is that I can already tell my albinoness is returning.

2 – Sports. This past summer I was fortunate enough to be on two tennis leagues and a sand volleyball league. I love getting outdoors in the summer and getting my exercise that way!

3 – Swimming. Spending some lazy time by the pool is fine and dandy, but give me that time instead to swim and you will have one happy camper!

4 – Friday’s at work. Each Friday at work during the summer is very laid back. On a given summer day (non-close week) if I leave after 3:00 that is considered late! Thank you current work culture!

5 – Family time. My work calendar has 5 paid days of vacation in the summer. Take that, add in a few days of personal vacation, a few half-day Friday’s and you end up with a recipe for loads of summer family time! There is nothing better than spending time with family outdoors or indoors – grilling, playing lawn games, shootin’ the breeze or just relaxing!

I will take summer over any other season during the year – hands down! I will take a chance of tornadoes over a blizzard any day!

What are your summer favorites?

#hashtag

Just when I thought I understood social media, Twitter throws me a curve ball! I was reading some tweets by @CraigyFerg and one of my friends, @heppnerd and I noticed that they (and others) were heavily using the "#" symbol before certain words and I didn't know why. At first I thought it might just be the way people type on Twitter...sort of a new version of texting, then I thought I might just be getting old. :( Either way it seemed like Gibberish to me!

So in order to understand why people we writing like this I did what most people would do - I Google searched!

Apparently in Twitter the "#" sign is called a hashtag and it isn't a screwed up version of texting; it's actually rather ingenious! For those of you who do not tweet you may not know that you cannot categorize your tweets like a blog can. If you look at the bottom of my post today you will see two "tags" or "labels" called Twitter & Social Media. These tags are used to group my posts so that if someone visits my blog they can click on "Twitter" and pull up all my blog posts that relate to Twitter in some way. Twitter does not have this function.

Twitter users get around this issue by adding the "#" sign before certain words. So for example, during the 2008 elections one could have used "#2008elections" in order to group all of their comments/posts that related to that subject to make it easier for people to follow this topic.

Now the next time you are on Twitter you and I will know what all the "#" signs mean and we can use them too!

#NowYouKnowTheRestOfTheStory
Follow me on Twitter - @jaywelters

A Great Night in Sports!

Last night it became official - the MN Twins became the first MLB team this year to clinch their division (AL Central) and secure their spot in the 2010 MLB playoffs! Last nights comeback victory over the Cleveland Indians (6-4) coupled with the Chicago White Sox's loss to the Oakland A's (2-7) guarantees the Twins a playoff run! Currently the Twins have the 2nd best record in baseball (91-60) - of course the Yankee's have the best record...by a game (92-59)! GO TWINS and best of luck in the playoffs!

For a complete look at the MLB standings visit MLB Standings - ESPN

The great Twins victorylast night was not the only great win in MN sports last night! That's right...our sand volleyball team won our first game in our playoff run last night! Woot! We are scheduled to play 2 or 3 more matches next Tuesday as the playoffs wrap up and we work our way to win another championship! The teams this summer are a stronger than the ones we played indoors this spring, but it is still a lot of fun!

Now...if we could just get those dang Vikings & Golden Gophers to produce some winning results MN would be sitting pretty this fall!

Side note: Doesn't Scott Baker look old here? He is only 29 (born 1981)!!! I think he needs to lose the beard. Reminds me of Clint Eastwood or something...

My First Flat Tire

I would love to be sitting here today telling all of you my epic tale of how I got my first flat tire. A tale of how I was speeding down the highway 103 miles an hour chasing after a terrorist attempting to assassinate the President. I caught up to suspect in the black SUV. The Pres. is inside fearing for his life. I swerve my car out wide and then back again crashing into the SUV in an attempt to drive him into the shoulder. I hit the SUV's back end an both vehicles spin out of control. The SUV smashes into the median and throws the terrorist out of the car (always wear your seat belt). The Pres. and I are OK and I save the day! I am awarded some presidential medal and a billion dollars! How epic would that be?!?!

This is not how my first flat tire experience played out. Shocked? I am! No, my first flat tire (ever) was just this morning and I didn't even see it first, The Mrs. did! She stole my thunder! Here is how it went down. As I was taking out the trash she said "Oh noes! You have a flat tire!" Or something like that :P I put the trash in the can and walked out to the car, saw the flat tire, cursed in my head and walked over to the Jeep to drive to work. I guess there was no point in getting mad even though my flat tire experience left something to be desired!

I guess I know what I am going to be up to tonight when I get home! I just pray that I have all the tools I need in the back of my car! I mean they should be since I have never had a flat before...unless I really did hit that SUV in a previous life or something with my car. Oh the possibilities!

Copier Room Body Language - Awkward!

We have all either been in a situation like this or witnessed something similar...

Today after lunch I was at the sink washing my fork and tupperware bowl when I witnessed a very awkward interaction between two coworkers of mine - we will call them Bill and Shirley.

As I was approaching the sink to wash my dishes Shirley was just leaving the microwave with her food. She approached the refrigerator just as Bill rounded the corner to get something off of the copier (located right next to each other). You could tell Bill was pressed for time and was not interested in talking. Shirley, however, looked eager to start a chipper conversation. I didn't catch any of the actual conversation, but the body language said it all. Bill, papers in hand,  was slooowly backing away with and periodically turning his head as if he was looking for the quickest way out of Shirley's path - sort of like a cornered baby monkey being stalked by a hyena. Shirley meanwhile kept creeping her way closer and closer to Bill until she finally trapped him in the corner of the copier room. She looked creepily accomplished.

is it possible that some people just cannot read body language? A normal person approaching Bill could easily tell that he did not want to be bothered - he was in the copy room to get his print outs and head back to his desk to work. Maybe if he backed up faster and turned his head faster she would have gotten the hint...after all she was wearing glasses and maybe she couldn't see his body language?

Deadlines

Me: "Oh, hey there 'Joan'. Happy Monday! I was just wondering if you might be able to get me that cost estimate for annual planning by Friday?"
Joan: "Oh for sure, I can get you that detail before then! Have a great week!"
Me: "You too!"

It seems simple enough, doesn't it? A deadline is given. You accept the deadline and are therefore expected to meet that deadline on or before the specified date. So, can you guess what happened in the above scenario? --- I do not work with a Joan, btw.

A - Joan submitted the cost detail on or before the deadline in full detail!
B - Joan submitted the cost detail on the deadline, but at the very last moment.
C - Joan has not yet submitted the cost detail and has asked for an extension until Monday.

If you guessed A or B then you are wrong! "Joan" has yet to submit her cost detail to me and has pretty much said it would not be ready until Monday at the latest. My problem is that I had a deadline of today (Friday) to submit all of my data for our managerial review on Monday!

Why do people procrastinate and constantly miss deadlines? All of these people run around with Blackberry's looking so important...why don't they use the calendar, note or even the task features on this device to actually meet a deadline?!?! If you know someone like this please pass along these few tips on how to actually meet deadlines:

1 - Keep a list! Use that Blackberry for something other than texting and emailing! Calendars are great.
2 - Give yourself a cushion! If you know the deadline is Friday then make your personal deadline Thursday!
3 - Block of time on your schedule you just created using your Blackberry specifically for this task!
4 - Shrink your ego a bit and put yourself in my shoes for once! If I am given an ad hoc task I complete is ASAP...maybe you could do the same!

Sorry for the rant today, but procrastination on work-related deadlines in my book is just plain wrong. It shows a lack of professionalism in the work place!

Microwave Etiquette for the Office

Most people seem to not have microwave etiquette for the office. In fact, it has become apparent (in my office at least) that most people don't even know what microwave etiquette is. For those of you who work in an office or will someday in the future here are a few simple rules to follow when using a microwave at work:

1) Keep your exotic seafood dishes at home! I went to heat up my soup today and the microwave smelt like nasty old fish! There is nothing worse than the office smelling like the boat from "The Deadliest Catch."

2) Cover up your food! Don't splatter up the microwave with your spaghetti dinner from last night, put something over it! If you don't have a cover then at least put a napkin over your food lest your microwave end up looking like the one above!

3) Watch the cook times! popcorn does not need to cook for 5 minutes! Burnt popcorn is not a pleasant odor to smell in the office all afternoon!

4) Don't jump the line! Those other people with their food nicely lined up in front of you aren't waiting in line for their health! The exception to this, however, is when the person currently using the microwave leaves his food in the microwave unattended - in this case you can remove his food and start your nuking!

5) Don't torment us with small time intervals! If something takes 3 minutes to cook then punch in 3:00. Do not hit :30 six times making everyone look like gophers popping up over their cube walls every time the microwave buzzer sounds!

If you can't follow these rules then please go out for lunch or bring in a cold sandwich or something!

You Betcha I'm Cold!

To quote my wife: "Dear Minnesota: It is still summer. Please return the warm weather and save this nasty stuff for when it is winter or at least late fall. Thank you."

I couldn't have said it better myself! Two weeks ago, around State Fair time, when it started to cool down I shrugged off the cooler weather thinking that it would pass and we would be back to warm summer weather. I was wrong...oh so wrong! 

Fall technically doesn't start until September, 22 so it would have been nice to have another 2-3 weeks of summer-like weather. 2-3 more weeks of riding a bike without a light jacket, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, eating ice cream without freezing my bum off or just going to a Twins game without a blanket! Summer in Minnesota is so short as it is that we Minnesotans tend to cram in as many activities as possible in order to take advantage of the warmth; I know I did! This, of course, makes the summer go by even faster. *tear*

I guess my only option of experiencing another week or two of "summer weather" would be to put on some shorts, turn up the heat to 90 degrees, open the patio door, grab a lawn chair, a cold beer and feel the heat!

Viva summer!

Top Five Reasons to Watch "The Amazing Race"

For those of you not familiar with the CBS television series "The Amazing Race" I encourage you to visit CBS's website (The Amazing Race - 17) and check it out! I personally have only seen three seasons of the show so far thanks to The Mrs. and her family, who have watched the show nearly since the beginning! The Amazing Race is definitely my favorite show on TV right now and here are my top five reasons to tune in this season!

Top Five for The Amazing Race:
1 - You will never be "lost." Unlike shows such as Lost you do not need to have watched any prior seasons to know what is going on in the show! Since The Amazing Race is a reality TV show each season starts fresh with a new cast of characters and new challenges to complete!

2 - Explore exotic locations. One of my favorite parts of the show is seeing all of the neat places the show travels and Season 17 will take the contestants over 32,000 miles while racing across four continents! This season contestants will visit Ghana, Bangladesh and for the first time in the show's history they will actually be traveling to the Arctic Circle! I am very interested in seeing how that plays out!

3 - Great challenges! I have read online that people compare The Amazing Race to another CBS reality show - Survivor - however, I find them to be quite different. In my opinion, The Amazing Race has far better challenges. Not only to competitors have to complete challenges like on Survivor, but in order to complete the challenges each team must race to the challenge destination using a series of clues they need to solve along the way with a limited amount of cash for each 'leg' of the race. Check out the video below for a funny & painful challenge this season! Watermelon Launch!

4 - Drama! Yep, I am definitely a fan of TV drama. No, not drama as in General Hospital style drama, but good old fashion real-person reality-style drama - another great show for this is Big Brother! Last season was great for drama! The Amazing Race is played in teams and last season there was a team composed of two completely bit*#y lesbians and another team with a model and some actress/miss teen person. These two teams did NOT get along...at all! I am surprised the lezbo team didn't break a leg during the race on account of them having their noses so far in the air they couldn't see where they were walking! If you watched last season you know what I am talking about! I hope season 17 is just as entertaining as last season!

5 - Family and friend time. One of the top reasons you should watch season 17 of The Amazing Race is because it is a great way for you to spend time with family and friends. Unlike other shows on TV - Fringe (sci-fi lovers), Glee (music lovers), America's Next Top Model (fashion lovers?), etc. The Amazing Race is a show that has something for everyone. The show does a fantastic job of balancing drama, humor, suspense, excitement, etc. each episode that nearly anyone can enjoy the show! I know that I look forward to every Sunday evening in the fall as it is a great time for The Mrs. and I to sit down, relax and enjoy a little TV together!

If you have never watched The Amazing Race I really encourage you to give it a try this fall; you won't be disappointed!

Catch The Amazing Race season premiere September 26 starting at 7:30PM!

The Race is on!

Weekend in Rewind: 9/10-9/12

Given the extremely busy August The Mrs. and I had I am surprised to hear myself say these words: this past weekend was very relaxing! Though I love to be busy, it was nice to have time move slower for once.

Friday night was great! Our original plan was to have a nice dinner at Houlihan's and then catch a movie - "Dinner for Schmucks." We did manage to make it to Houlihan's and as usual the food was great! We never did make it to the movie, because my good buddy (Justin) and his wife were in town randomly from Las Vegas! So naturally when friends from out of town come to visit you hang out at...yes! Chucky Cheese! No, I am not making this up; we literally hung out at CC for about 1.5 hours or so just catching up on our lives. I should mention that us four adults didn't just go into CC, rather we were there because Justin was also with his sister and nephews who wanted their CC fix. It was a great time!

Saturday was interesting for a number of reasons. I am currently in the process of getting new contacts and lenses for my glasses and because of this I had to see my optometrist on Saturday morning for a pupil dilation and pressure check. Since I had my eyes dilated I couldn't wear my contacts for 24 hours, which meant I had to wear my glasses all day - so what? Well, with my pupils dilated my eyes basically burned when I looked at the sun not to mention it was difficult to see in my glasses since the prescription was old. Needless to say I looked really cool at the Gopher football game with my glasses under my sunglasses while wearing a hat. In the end I guess it didn't matter since the Gophers gave a lackluster performance on Saturday (see my previous post). That was my Saturday morning - optometrist, Gopher game and blinding light (sounds like a soap opera). The rest of the day I played some Starcraft II while The Mrs. did her homework. Oh I guess I also had the fortune to be the cab driver for The Mrs. and her friend for their girls night at Toby Keith's bar...good times...good times.


Sunday was very laid back. I watched lots of football, cheered for my fantasy football players (who will most likely lose tonight unless my defense can get 11 points) and putzed on my computer a little more. We also managed to fit in a Target run around 3:00 or so - gotta love Target! Needless to say Sunday was great - time went slowly and I was able to relax!

You know...listing out all of the things I did this weekend makes it seem like I was actually pretty busy. At least it felt like a long, relaxing weekend!

Gophers? More like "Nophers!"

Fact: In 2009 the University of Minnesota Twin Cities was listed as the 4th largest university in the United States. Total student enrollment as of fall semester 2009 - 51,659.

Fact: In 2009 the University of South Dakota experiences an enrollment increase of 3.5% year over year. Total student enrollment as of fall semester 2009 - 9,600.

Fact: On September 11, 2010 the U of M Golden Gophers host it's first NCAA football match up of the season at TCF Bank stadium in Minneapolis, MN against the USD Coyotes.

Disappointing Fact: Final score of the above game --- Gophers 38 | USD 41.

Sad Reality: Though the U of M has a 42,000 enrollment advantage over USD we somehow managed to lose to the Coyotes in one of the worst played Gopher football games in my life! I was lucky (and fortunate) enough to go to the game for free thanks to a friend of mine in Minneapolis (well to be 100% correct he technically lives in St. Paul).

If any MN Gopher football players read this (assuming they can read) PLEASE step up your game!!! You are making the U of M look even more wimpy than it is!

In a nut shell today's game felt a little something like this (with a football, of course).