1 - Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information. - Michael
2 - I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim’s life with a can of pepper spray I had velcro’d under my desk. People say, “oh, it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace”. Well I say, “it’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.” - Dwight
3 - Love this one!!!
Jim: [dressed like Dwight] Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That’s a ridiculous question…
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: That’s debatable, there are basically two schools of thought…
Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight: Bears do not…what is going on?!? What are you doing?!?
4 - In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead.' Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead. - Dwight5 - Long one...
Dwight: Jim, Jim, Jim. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.
Jim: Oh, hey, Dwight.
Dwight: I’m going to be your new boss. It’s my greatest dream come true. Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time is now. Check-out time is never.
Jim: Does my room have cable?
Dwight: No. And the sheets are made of fire!
Jim: Can I change rooms?
Dwight: Sorry, we’re all booked up. Hell convention in town.
Jim: Can I have a late check-out?
Dwight: I’ll have to talk to the manager.
Jim: You’re not the manager? Even in your own fantasy?
Dwight: I’m the owner. The co-owner. With Satan.
Jim: Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. And you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight: Yeah, but I haven’t told you my salary yet.
Jim: Go.
Dwight: $80,000 a year.
While Steve Carell might be leaving, it appears you should still like the show, since some of the quotes you find hilarious are those involving Jim and Dwight.
ReplyDeleteThe principle is sound: To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. I don't know why everyone doesn't do this... Maybe they have something against living forever.
- Dwight
Dwight: Question: Is there firewood on the island?
ReplyDeleteJim: I guess.
Dwight: Then I would bring an ax, no books.
Jim: It has to be a book, Dwight.
Dwight: Fine, Physician's Desk Reference.
Jim: Nice, smart.
Dwight: ...hollowed out. Inside: Waterproof matches, iodine tablets, beet seeds, protein bars, NASA blanket, and, in case I get bored, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. No, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Question: Did my shoes come off in the plane crash?